Humility and a Shared Vision: Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer


Continuing to read Fr. Thomas Dubay’s Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer. Pages

The second main root of conflict is seldom even noticed in our day. It is called illuminism. – emphasis mine

I like to call this form of the aberration the privileged-pipeline-to-God idea.

It is clear that disagreements with an illuminist spouse, relative, friend, fellow worker or parishioner will go nowhere until humility enters the picture — and that requires conversion.

The final root of suffering in communal life is a lack of what the New Testament calls having “one mind”, or as we now term it, a shared vision about the main issues of life: God, religion, why we exist at all, the principles of morality, the nature of one’s state in life and its obligations, a balanced use of money, chastity, raising of children, what real love is and is not.

Saints do not fight at all (in this sense). Once again the New Testament therapy alone works adequately. The conflicts of which we are speaking in this chapter are fully healed or case only when deepening conversion happens.

The gospel picture of beautiful human community is not only largely absent from secular thinking, it is not nearly as prominent in our popular Christian milieu as it ought to be.

Some thoughts to take away from all this:

Humility is key in any relationship.

– I don’t have all the answers.
– I readily admit to the fact that I could be wrong about this.
– I am open to your ideas and new possibilities.
– Just as I seek to be understood, I also seek to understand.
– I try to see things from your perspective.
– I try to put myself in your shoes.

Shared vision is essential.

– We can work on this together.
– If we can’t agree about this now, let’s set it aside and talk about it again tomorrow.
– Where do we see this issue, and ourselves, 5, 10, 15 years from now? How do we get there together?
– What is our ultimate goal here? Let’s not lose sight of that.
– Your ideas and my ideas, put together, can be beautiful, cohesive, exciting.
– Shared vision means we can come to an agreement that works for both of us. And that means we come out of this stronger, wiser, closer. Shared wisdom is also a good thing.
– The world has enough strife. Let’s not allow it to conquer us here. Home is our haven from all that.


  1. Resty O. says:

    Great questions, Stef! My problem is how to stay Christian in case of downright stupid and evil perspectives. I think even the Christian sense of charity and mercy calls for assertive correction. What do you think?

  2. stef says:

    Hm. I guess my first inclination there would be to check myself for how my classification of what’s “stupid” or “evil”. Stupidity isn’t usually a choice, is it? Sometimes the root is ignorance — so what may be needed is catechism or evangelization (though we may have to be careful about not being so ‘in your face’ about it. But I can also see where some people can be willfully stupid at times :D. Yes, I do believe, we are called to correct where necessary, but we are also called to prudence. Like for some of the people we’ve debated with on matters of the faith and morals — at some point you really need to just throw your hands up and say, “I give up.” And just take it to prayer and leave it to the Holy Spirit to do the rest of the work.

    As for evil…. real evil, that is. I wouldn’t want to get to close to attempt correction. I’d pray for the person and for his/her conversion, but if we’re talking about actual possession, best to leave that to the professionals.

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