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"Happy Wife and Mom"
In Rome today, our third day here. Staying at Holiday Inn-Eur Parco De Medici. Funny, feels like home — maybe because the hotel rooms are much like those we stay in when we’re traveling with hubby. Restaurant (La Serra) has good food — a bit on the overpriced side, but considering that we were dead tired after coming home last night and they serve food ’til 10:30, you won’t find me complaining. My timballo with gamberi was actually well executed (no pics, we forgot to take the camera when we went downstairs), and made me think of Filipino palabok, but spicy. DD-17 had her favorite — pasta with carciofi (artichokes).
Yesterday had breakfast at the Beehive — we were the only ones in their cafe at 9 am, and the cafe only seats about 10 anyway, so it felt really cozy and home-like. Nixed plans to get in line for the Colloseum and instead went to Feltrinelli (the boys’ request) so they could read/buy some English books and had lunch at Dagnino. Give the boys books, give me and Aisa food, and give Yena a souvenir and we’re all happy. Mostly we wandered around Feltrinelli, and spent most of our time at a place that we loved-loved-loved: Basilica di Santa Maria degli Angeli e dei Martiri. Later we attended Mass at Basilica di Santa Croce in Gerusalemme. Too late we found out that all cultural sites were free for the week (last day today) because of Natural Culture Week or some such event… but eh. It was nice and relaxed to just wander and not have a schedule or goal in mind.
Friday we had come in early and parked near the Villa Borghese, and again wandered in and out of streets and alleys, with the goal of Trevi Fountain on one end and Santa Maria del Popolo on the other. Made it to both but the church was closed, so we didn’t get to go in. Had gelato at Giolitti (try saying that 10 times) and shopped at Vertecchi, mostly for stuff Yena and Paco will need for their sacramental prep albums. Major finds of the day:
— whoops, sorry to run, but aisa’s laptop is out of battery!! Don’t know when we’ll get back online, but hopefully soon.
Unbelievable, but after spending several days trying to go online after work at hubby’s workplace (right outside the “palace” gates)… we are online, in our backyard. Because the signals don’t reach up to our apartment. Right now, we are in the parking lot, under the palm trees… and it’s REAL high speed.
And now I don’t know what to write. One of these days I’ll try to use dd’s laptop to upload pics, but for now, short blurbs will have to do. To be honest, I don’t know how long this free internet thing is going to last. We still have our Wind connection that hardly ever works…. don’t know if that one has a money-back guarantee, but at this point, I’m letting dh worry about that one.
This will serve then mostly as notes to my mom and relatives that want to get updates from us…. and then notes to myself on “things to remember”.
Palm Sunday in Rome
… was a bust. We got there really early, and parked at the place recommended to us by Italian friends. However, we followed our GPS for walking directions instead of just using the map… and still got lost in the process, and took several wrong turns, etc. I’d forgotten just how difficult walking around in Rome is, unless you’ve got a guide or are used to how the streets are configured. So while we got there at 8:00, with plenty of time to spare to get to the Vatican in time for Mass… by 10:30 we realized we were too far away to make it there. Between kids wanting to stop because they were tired or needed a potty break… and getting lost… you get the picture. We still managed to get lots of pics taken, and got some gelato in there. And yes, we did make it to the Vatican, at around 2:30 pm. Waaah. We sat around the square (circle really) and breathed for a bit, then went back to our parking spot… all in all 10 hours of walking that day. The kids were such troopers, I’m proud to say, and nary a complaint was heard.
Got home at around 8:30, had a late dinner (we stopped at an Autogrill on the highway for a snack) and dropped into bed exhausted. Woke up around 5 am (?) to tremors, which lasted about 2 1/2 Hail Marys… we were camping out in the living room — which we do on weekends. Hubby went to work and came home that night telling us that the epicenter of the earthquake was 1 1/2 hours away, in L’Aquila, and that people had been e-mailing finding out if we were okay. We hadn’t had ‘net access in several days so I had to wait ’til Tuesday to e-mail some people and tell them we were fine. That week we had two aftershocks, mild… the first one we were at the grocery and hubby rushed to find me but — haha — I hadn’t even felt it. The next time we had just tucked everyone in bed and were getting ready to sleep ourselves… so we had some good practice in planting ourselves under our doorways. Life’s an adventure, I tell ya.
Holy Week
In the morning we attended Lodi (early morning Liturgy of the Hours). And then we had planned to do a visita iglesia on Maundy Thursday — basically a pilgrimage to see Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament in 7 churches — but didn’t get to as hubby came home with a bad ear infection.
Good Friday we went to Church for the Veneration of the Cross and met a couple of wonderful parishioners who spoke English. One reason being that they wanted to make sure Migi was qualified to receive Holy Eucharist. He was asked while we were in line for Communion, but since we didn’t understand each other my dd simply gestured that yes, he can be given Communion! Afterwards we explained that he had received his first Holy Eucharist in the US. Apparently here in Italy children don’t go until 9 or 10 years of age.
Saturday we decided not to attend the Vigil anymore as we planned to leave early the next morning to attend Easter Mass at the Vatican… which we did! After about an hour of getting lost again, thanks to my mistake of setting the GPS on “Pedestrian”. It wouldn’t take us into the GRA! And we didn’t realize it until after half an hour of going round and round a certain road right outside it. Duh.
Easter!
Anyway… Easter in Rome… awesome. What can I say. The kids were so excited to be HOME. I hope they take that experience into adulthood as one of their life’s highlights and share it with their kids as well. Pics next time, I promise!
Oh… yeah. Our Lumix is dead right now — it died on Saturday. Which means we’re using the kids’ Coolpix… will have to have the Lumix serviced when we get home 
Easter Monday is officially a holiday here… so nothing’s open. Forget the American practice of shopping the 50% off sales after a major holiday — no such thing. Well, I don’t know really. I’m still hoping to see some of the humongous Easter chocolate eggs tomorrow when we get our groceries.
Have to stop — hubby’s laptop is out of battery. Will try to go online again later or tomorrow!
Really affordable mozzarella — the kind we buy at Jungle Jim’s for $9-10 a PIECE. This here container has 10 balls, at 4.50 Euro (it was on sale — regular price is 6.10). – March 19
Aisa having fun with the mirrors at home (the blue-looking area in the very back is the laundry room). – March 20
and then with Nino… – March 20
the gang at La Rusticana – March 20
and Paco and Migi
my foccacia — eggplant, artichokes, corn (!), tomatoes, olives, mushrooms, zucchini and potatoes. La Rusticana’s foccacia is similar to cracker crust pizza, but no sauce and no cheese, and simply topped with fresh veggies. Drizzle olive oil on top and you’re all set.
and my dessert — gelato amarena, 3 layers of delish
Aisa with the pizza oven, and the pizzaiolo
found a Town and Country here (and same color as our van in the US!) — an Italian version, approx. the same size as the Fiat Ulysse we’re renting, thought that was pretty funny — this was taken at the apt. complex where our condo is – March 10
Nino’s smile – March 11
Yena and Nino – March 12
roast broccoli flavored with lemon, salt and pepper, and finished off with a sprinkling of Parmigiano-Reggiano – March 13
the family minus Aisa, hotel balcony before we moved to the condo – March 14
Aisa practicing her violin which she opted to bring instead of her guitar — view from her room and balcony – March 16
Pork belly, from locally raised “mountain pigs”, marinated in balsamic vinegar, garlic, salt and pepper — I would have grilled this had we a grill, had to pan-fry it… but no complaints! – March 16
Aisa and Nino, March 17
Look at that hair! Nino after his bath – March 17
trying to take advantage of fast internet this morning — hope this goes through — 974 kbps!!
flying into Rome, March 8
in the microvan — hey, we fit!
driving to Pescara
sleeping Nino… cried for 10 minutes on the plane, jet lagged 1 day, then he was fine!
on the beach
sorry for the low quality pics — we’re still getting the hang of GIMP.
More notes. Can’t really write blog posts (unless I write them ahead of time) because our “high speed Internet” (HAHA) fluctuates so unpredictably. Like 435 Kbps one second and 0 the next. Ugh. But. Not complaining. It’s still better than no ‘net at all. And our family isn’t suffering from it — in fact things are happening pretty much the way we expected. Already we feel closer to each other than before. That’s a great blessing!! Isolation has its perks!
And we’re not actually as isolated as we thought — had people over the day after we moved in — 3 co-workers and the wife of one of them. Then Friday we went out to eat out at their favorite arrosticini place (except we couldn’t have arrosticini because we were abstaining from meat, so we’ll have to go back sometime to try it)… yesterday we had one of our favorite people with us the whole day and again today for half a day. Tuesday will be dd-17′s 18th birthday. That should be fun. She’s asked for homemade tiramisu for dessert… and some creamy pasta for dinner… maybe I’ll add an antipasto platter…. and whatever else I can come up with.
I’m torn about this — it’s Lent and while I’m grateful for the opportunity to offer up things, e.g., this life of “doing without” …. there’s so much here that totally makes us feel spoiled. It’s hard to feel the sacrifice when you constantly are surrounded with blessings. I still have to figure this one out.
Let’s take food, for instance. How can one possibly feel deprived when even the cheapest generic extra virgin olive oil is still very, very rich and fruity? When good red wine is available at 2.99 Euro? (We haven’t bought any, but had a sip of our friends’ order. And our favorite produce is unbelievably affordable? Case in point: artichokes at 49 eurocents each, fennel at 1.49/kg, giant oranges and lemons (local) at 2+ euro/kg? Sigh. I suppose we could just *not* eat… Even eating leftovers is not much of a penance, like tomorrow I’m having what’s left of a salad from the market — radicchio, rice, corn, tomatoes, capers, carrots, tuna… it’s so yummy and fresh.
When your pleasures are simple, and it takes little to satisfy you, how do you find what it is that costs you something and hurts? I suggested jokingly to dd that perhaps the solution is to buy what’s expensive that we *don’t'* like — like McDonald’s food here where sandwiches are 3.90 – 5.90 euro… and therefore hurts the pocket… but that doesn’t make sense, does it?
Here at home I looked forward to doing without, and in some ways we are doing that, e.g., no dryer, so we hang our clothes outside, or by the radiator… the washer is so small it can only hold 1/4-1/3 of my US washer’s capacity… but then again we didn’t bring that many clothes so there’s not that much to wash… I don’t have my beloved pots and pans and what’s here are lightweight Teflon ones that I’d like to replace soon… but then again we don’t have to do much high heat cooking on them because most of the food here is best prepared the slow-food way… we’re stuck with Italian TV, no cable, but then we didn’t have cable in the US either, and Spongebob Squarepants actually looks okay when you don’t understand the dialogue. Plus we’re learning Italian slowly, bit by bit, everyday, so how can this be a deprivation… and since we don’t have much in the way of technology we’re learning to spend more time with each other, pleasantly.
I know that sounds silly considering we’re already homeschoolers and spend practically almost every hour of the day together, but even homeschoolers can fall into the tech trap (and other traps, such as overcommitment outside the home), that the improvement these days is apparent.
We’ve found two cozy churches — we’re probably going to stick with the one that’s 14 minutes away walking distance… and there doesn’t seem to be an English Mass anywhere near here, but today I think I got much from the homily which is probably 25% understandable to me. We end up talking about the homily right after Mass, checking with each other as to what we each understood — and in doing so we receive more fully the richness of the teaching, even if we only got it in bits and pieces… the sharing is what pushes it in, deeper.
By being here together, by ourselves, far from the things and people we’ve gotten used to, we are forging something that in many ways feels like a new alliance. Growing family is so much more purposeful and true in these circumstances. There are so mamy things we are thankful for. Lent this year, perhaps, is not so much the giving up of pleasures, as much as it is the development of a clearer perception of what gifts are. Here in Italy, away from our “regular world”, we have been given the gift of time, and clearly, the message is — don’t waste it.
just some notes as I’m writing in a hurry. we’ve forgotten how slow dialup can be!
- no high speed internet yet. there’s wifi at several hotels in the area including one a block down, but not here — and i really don’t feel like walking there with my laptop and the kids.
- there are 2 options available to us — high speed internet at 1 hour a day, or 10 hours a day (or unlimited, which we don’t need or want). what, nothing in between?
- we have yet to figure out how to do the cell phone thing. right now we use our US cell phones, at 99 cents per minute PLUS roaming charges. good thing the company will be footing that bill. last time i placed an emergency call to dh while he was in germany and i was in the US we talked for only a few minutes and paid $30+.
- the hotel is really nicely situated as far as the beach goes. and since it’s not the height of tourist season yet we pretty much have it to ourselves… though still a bit chilly. the Adriatic is just beautiful this morning.
- our hotel room has a kitchenette — housed in cabinetry — and there are 4 burners, out of which one is working. and probably at 3000 BTU judging from how slow things get hot. it took me 4 hours to cook fish the other night, in an itty-bitty 6-inch skillet. non-stick aluminum weight from what i can tell. a langostina that fails to impress me. i guess cheapy cookware is everywhere. i shouldn’t complain, are still smiling.
me: so i was thinking of having coffee tomorrow morning (at 10 pm at night)
dh: you better start heating up your water now. - the fridge is so small. so funny considering we made sure they understood there were going to be SEVEN of us, counting the baby. there are enough beds and cots for seven of us, alright, and 7 towel sets too, but man — how did they expect us to cook our meals here?
- so far meals have been simple. eating out we opt for the pizzas/foccacias/paninis at the mall/grocery. cooking here i made fried merluzzo (cod, i guess?) and some carnaroli. i was planning to make some yummy broccoli with lemon and parmigiano, but if i had done that we’d have had dinner at midnight. so we’ll wait ’til saturday to cook it, when we’ve moved into the condo.
- dh wanted to take me to his favorite arrosticini place last night (la rusticana) and to meet his work colleagues, but we had to change plans since i still have canker sores on my tongue and inside lip — stress-induced from the last couple of weeks of preparation. i should be back to normal soon.
- with the help of some L-Lysine, which i managed to find yesterday — yay! asked at two different herb places, but they didn’t know what i was talking about. finally asked at the farmacia — it’s called lisina here.
- we are having so much fun shopping and take 2 hours or so at the grocery just looking and browsing — dd17 and me anyway. the boys stay at the toy section or electronics section most of the time.
- italian men so far are not impressing dd-17 haha! the young guys are always in tight black jeans and black zippered leather jackets and black boots. a lot of the girls too. not too many flowing, girly, decent skirts around here, but dd spotted a beautiful patchwork dress last night at the store. skirt to ankles — but we’ll have to wait until we’re settled in to do some serious shopping.
- so we’ve figured out the meats: bovino = cow, suino = pig, coniglio = rabbit, vitello = veal, equino = horse. that last one we have yet to try. maybe we’ll wait until we have some visitors, just for kicks (no pun intended).
- they fuss and fawn over the kids! i didn’t notice this behavior 5 years ago when we were in rome, florence and assisi — i suppose those are too touristy. now that we tend to go where the natives/regulars are it’s more apparent. everyone just stops to look and stare esp. at the baby. yesterday at the grocery an elderly couple stopped me and asked to gently touch baby’s cheek, with their apologies — they are so sweet!
more later… dh has to get going to work, and i have to relinquish his laptop. if i can figure out how to connect mine, i’ll be back.
This might sound ridiculous considering people keep telling us we’re so lucky we get to do this (travel as a family with hubby)… but I’m really looking forward to learning to do without. That looks like a nice van up there but it is WAY smaller than the American van we are used to — hubby calls it a microvan… I see it as an opportunity to learn how to get along and be patient with each other in a really confined space.
We will stay at the nice hotel for the first couple of months, come back for maybe a week here, then back again until the assignment ends… I will bring my knives (as per usual, the chef and paring anyway) but nothing else in the way of kitchen paraphernalia. So I’ll be missing my pots and pans and all the stuff I’ve come to depend on all these years.
Homeschooling will be very different — I’ve tried to stick to the one book per subject rule… so right now that’s looking like this:
- The Holy Bible
- The CCC
- The Liturgy of the Hours for the season (so this will be our saint book as well)
- no “reading” books per se — we’ll have to do that online, I don’t know yet how accessible English books are where we’re going to be, I mean the classics that we love and use in homeschooling
- one Math book per child
- Handbook of Nature Study
- a bunch of classical composer CDs loaded into my dd’s laptop’s iTunes software
- Artistic Pursuits
I actually have a bunch more books that I want to bring but I have yet to seek dh’s approval as he has limited our luggage to 2 large suitcases, 2 small ones, and backpacks. At confession today I told my priest that I’m having a hard time submitting to dh on this issue — 7 people / several months / 3 seasons / not enough space ??? … and he teased that I probably need 3 suitcases for all my clothes. I guess Father doesn’t know me well enough — I told him I was content with half a suitcase — it’s the BOOKS I can’t seem to part with!! Aiaiai…
But really… I’m looking forward to learning to do without. Living in the US has really spoiled us — everything is accessible, most things are affordable… it will be a lesson for the kids and myself to learn to get by with much, much less. I suppose it sounds almost hypocritical to write this out since we are — in essence — going on “vacation” for almost a year … but it will be a trial in patience and endurance as well… hopefully much purification will come out of it. Most of all I look forward to doing without regular Internet service, the company of friends whom we love and run to all the time, the many conveniences of a life here… not because I’m not going to miss those, but because we really need a big dose of reality (including me) and that’s not always easy to obtain in the good ol’ US of A. And the biggest plus is that we get to cocoon again — just have each other and not much else — last time this happened we really GREW.
We have created a society where children are afraid or embarrassed to ask their parents tough questions. We can either accept that/assume that it is true of our child/teen as well, or we can take steps to correct/refute it.
How did this happen anyway? When children ask questions, they are not given straight answers, either because of parental fear or confusion. Or they are not given the attention or time that they need. Questions should be answered in a straightforward fashion and not deflected in an attempt to distract the child. Doing so creates an atmosphere of distrust and leads to even more confusion. The child is led to believe either a) that his/her question is unimportant, ergo the answer is also unimportant, or b) that the parent doesn’t know what the answers are, and thus, next time that a question arises, the child should just go consult someone else. If the child goes to a trusted adult who shares the parents’ views or can provide wholesome guidance, that’s something to be thankful for. But if the child knows of no such adult, or instead goes to a peer who is at the same stage of questioning and confusion, then problems can arise.
Parents should be children’s “first line of defense” against the attacks of modernity and secularism. Divini Illius Magistri points out that we are to be the primary educators of our children. The Sacrament of Marriage itself calls us to procreation — but it doesn’t stop there — it calls us to the education of our children as well: “by its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory” (Gaudium et Spes)”.
Teaching our children, especially about matters of the faith and the application thereof to our/their daily lives, should not be cause for fear or consternation. We should not face such opportunities with a feeling of inadequacy. Rather we should learn to face them head on, knowing that these moments are GIFTS, and receiving them with grace and eagerness to deal with the challenge is part of God’s mandate. We should not shirk our duty. Further, we should not assume that “someone else can do a better job”. Nothing is more effective towards touching a child’s heart than a parent’s honest and heartfelt admission that we have faced the same challenges they are facing. We can provide insights on how we have been able to cope with those challenges successfully. Admissions of mistakes and failings are also most welcome here — we do not have to be infallible in the eyes of our children. But they do have to see that we have come back from making those mistakes, and made another attempt to do what’s right. That’s what integrity is about, and these days, integrity is something that children are rarely taught. That we have learned to forgive ourselves, and ask forgiveness from our God… these are additional lessons that they have to internalize also (but we’ll talk about that at another time).
As parents we know our children best (or we should). We hold their hearts in our hands, and our families are the molds by which God shapes them here on earth. With our help they can become the vessels God wants them to be for His heavenly Kingdom.
If we are feeling inadequate, we should then endeavor to arm ourselves, so that we are ready for battle at a moment’s notice. Educating ourselves in God’s Word and the teachings of the Church is key. This is the only way we can outfit our “knights” for the spiritual struggles they are sure to face, if not today then someday soon. The teachings of the Church are such that they provide CLARITY in a morally relativistic world, where everything is permissible and it is no longer politically correct to call any action a “sin”. Lessons in black and white are much needed — they give our children the strength to stay out of the gray. When given early and charitably, our children have time to process and digest them before they are called to apply them. Expecting them to jump from information to application before they’ve had the chance to mull these things is unfair — but again, that’s fodder for another discussion at a later time.
Some practical tips for answering those tough questions:
1. Begin with a prayer to the Holy Spirit and Mother Mary to guide our minds and hearts and give us the right words.
2. If you know the topic beforehand, find a few Bible passages and CCC topics to help you out. If you have a parent resource such as a help forum like this, browse through some of the answers from wise parents who have been there before.
3. Keep foremost in mind that the goal is to assure the child of our love and our commitment to their well-being, both here on earth and beyond. Doing this will help us to LISTEN not only with our ears and our brains but also with our hearts.
4. Speak from the heart — our children are smart people…. they can figure out when wisdom is borne out of experience, or just pretend, a put-on to impress them.
To be honest I am much more nervous about answering questions like “why is the sky blue?” — because if I make a mistake there my children will forever mistrust my scientific knowledge. There is nothing more reassuring to a child than hearing their parent say “I don’t know, but together we can find out.” I tell my children all the time that I am just another learner, learning alongside them, and that God is not through with me. I even tell my oldest child that she’s our guinea pig and we’re feeling our way through things as well… which means they need to be patient with us too. That message is received more gratefully than scornfully. It helps 
ROTFL.
When there’s a new baby in the house, life slows down. The pace is soft, soothing. Each second I spend like this falls, like a trickle… There is nothing but to feed him, change him, keep him comforted, hold him close. Though the outside world may be trying to break down the walls around this peacefulness that characterizes this time, it has no choice but to wait. I take pieces of forever. To smell his sweet head, to embrace this sleepy warmth, to fill my heart with these moments that are just… me and him. My beautiful baby.
and the requisite pampers shot because daddy makes those;
Heading out now… baby soon
Will post as soon as we have news!!
The kids are sooo excited!!
Just yesterday hubby and I were discussing when would be a good time to get new blinds for our dd-17′s windows. I said let’s wait for a sale, I don’t have time to research right now.
Today a Freecycler was giving away 8 pair of blinds. Hubby just picked them up.
How’s that for awesome?
For All Your Gifts, Father, Our Thanks.
For the blessings of hearth and home.
For a husband who celebrates his fatherhood with joy and faithfulness
For Your gift of life. Especially new life.
For the children that surround our table, along with their smiles and squabbles.
For the food that You have lovingly provided.
For the livelihood that helps keep us warm and well-fed.
For family to share time with, to love and miss from afar.
For friends who share our journey.
For the gift of forgiveness.
For Your unending Mercy and Love.
Father, we give thanks.
__________________________________________
Father in Heaven,
Creator of all and source of all goodness and love,
Look kindly upon us
And receive our heartfelt gratitude
In this time of giving thanks.
Thank you for all the graces and blessings
You have bestowed upon us, spiritual and temporal:
Our faith and religious heritage
Our food and shelter,
Our health,
The love we have for one another,
Our family and friends.
Dear Father,
In Your infinite generosity,
Grant us continued graces and blessings throughout the coming year.
This we ask in the Name of Jesus Christ, Your Son.
Amen.
