… and these Thy gifts …

trying to take advantage of fast internet this morning — hope this goes through — 974 kbps!!

flying into Rome, March 8

in the microvan — hey, we fit!

driving to Pescara

sleeping Nino… cried for 10 minutes on the plane, jet lagged 1 day, then he was fine!

on the beach

sorry for the low quality pics — we’re still getting the hang of GIMP.

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More notes. Can’t really write blog posts (unless I write them ahead of time) because our “high speed Internet” (HAHA) fluctuates so unpredictably. Like 435 Kbps one second and 0 the next. Ugh. But. Not complaining. It’s still better than no ‘net at all. And our family isn’t suffering from it — in fact things are happening pretty much the way we expected. Already we feel closer to each other than before. That’s a great blessing!! Isolation has its perks!

And we’re not actually as isolated as we thought — had people over the day after we moved in — 3 co-workers and the wife of one of them. Then Friday we went out to eat out at their favorite arrosticini place (except we couldn’t have arrosticini because we were abstaining from meat, so we’ll have to go back sometime to try it)… yesterday we had one of our favorite people with us the whole day and again today for half a day. Tuesday will be dd-17’s 18th birthday. That should be fun. She’s asked for homemade tiramisu for dessert… and some creamy pasta for dinner… maybe I’ll add an antipasto platter…. and whatever else I can come up with.

I’m torn about this — it’s Lent and while I’m grateful for the opportunity to offer up things, e.g., this life of “doing without” …. there’s so much here that totally makes us feel spoiled. It’s hard to feel the sacrifice when you constantly are surrounded with blessings. I still have to figure this one out.

Let’s take food, for instance. How can one possibly feel deprived when even the cheapest generic extra virgin olive oil is still very, very rich and fruity? When good red wine is available at 2.99 Euro? (We haven’t bought any, but had a sip of our friends’ order. And our favorite produce is unbelievably affordable? Case in point: artichokes at 49 eurocents each, fennel at 1.49/kg, giant oranges and lemons (local) at 2+ euro/kg? Sigh. I suppose we could just *not* eat… Even eating leftovers is not much of a penance, like tomorrow I’m having what’s left of a salad from the market — radicchio, rice, corn, tomatoes, capers, carrots, tuna… it’s so yummy and fresh.

When your pleasures are simple, and it takes little to satisfy you, how do you find what it is that costs you something and hurts? I suggested jokingly to dd that perhaps the solution is to buy what’s expensive that we *don’t'* like — like McDonald’s food here where sandwiches are 3.90 - 5.90 euro… and therefore hurts the pocket… but that doesn’t make sense, does it?

Here at home I looked forward to doing without, and in some ways we are doing that, e.g., no dryer, so we hang our clothes outside, or by the radiator… the washer is so small it can only hold 1/4-1/3 of my US washer’s capacity… but then again we didn’t bring that many clothes so there’s not that much to wash… I don’t have my beloved pots and pans and what’s here are lightweight Teflon ones that I’d like to replace soon… but then again we don’t have to do much high heat cooking on them because most of the food here is best prepared the slow-food way… we’re stuck with Italian TV, no cable, but then we didn’t have cable in the US either, and Spongebob Squarepants actually looks okay when you don’t understand the dialogue. Plus we’re learning Italian slowly, bit by bit, everyday, so how can this be a deprivation… and since we don’t have much in the way of technology we’re learning to spend more time with each other, pleasantly.

I know that sounds silly considering we’re already homeschoolers and spend practically almost every hour of the day together, but even homeschoolers can fall into the tech trap (and other traps, such as overcommitment outside the home), that the improvement these days is apparent.

We’ve found two cozy churches — we’re probably going to stick with the one that’s 14 minutes away walking distance… and there doesn’t seem to be an English Mass anywhere near here, but today I think I got much from the homily which is probably 25% understandable to me. We end up talking about the homily right after Mass, checking with each other as to what we each understood — and in doing so we receive more fully the richness of the teaching, even if we only got it in bits and pieces… the sharing is what pushes it in, deeper.

By being here together, by ourselves, far from the things and people we’ve gotten used to, we are forging something that in many ways feels like a new alliance. Growing family is so much more purposeful and true in these circumstances. There are so mamy things we are thankful for. Lent this year, perhaps, is not so much the giving up of pleasures, as much as it is the development of a clearer perception of what gifts are. Here in Italy, away from our “regular world”, we have been given the gift of time, and clearly, the message is — don’t waste it.

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just some notes as I’m writing in a hurry. we’ve forgotten how slow dialup can be!

• no high speed internet yet. there’s wifi at several hotels in the area including one a block down, but not here — and i really don’t feel like walking there with my laptop and the kids.
• there are 2 options available to us — high speed internet at 1 hour a day, or 10 hours a day (or unlimited, which we don’t need or want). what, nothing in between?
• we have yet to figure out how to do the cell phone thing. right now we use our US cell phones, at 99 cents per minute PLUS roaming charges. good thing the company will be footing that bill. last time i placed an emergency call to dh while he was in germany and i was in the US we talked for only a few minutes and paid $30+.
• the hotel is really nicely situated as far as the beach goes. and since it’s not the height of tourist season yet we pretty much have it to ourselves… though still a bit chilly. the Adriatic is just beautiful this morning.
• our hotel room has a kitchenette — housed in cabinetry — and there are 4 burners, out of which one is working. and probably at 3000 BTU judging from how slow things get hot. it took me 4 hours to cook fish the other night, in an itty-bitty 6-inch skillet. non-stick aluminum weight from what i can tell. a langostina that fails to impress me. i guess cheapy cookware is everywhere. i shouldn’t complain, are still smiling.
  me: so i was thinking of having coffee tomorrow morning (at 10 pm at night)
  dh: you better start heating up your water now.
• the fridge is so small. so funny considering we made sure they understood there were going to be SEVEN of us, counting the baby. there are enough beds and cots for seven of us, alright, and 7 towel sets too, but man — how did they expect us to cook our meals here?
• so far meals have been simple. eating out we opt for the pizzas/foccacias/paninis at the mall/grocery. cooking here i made fried merluzzo (cod, i guess?) and some carnaroli. i was planning to make some yummy broccoli with lemon and parmigiano, but if i had done that we’d have had dinner at midnight. so we’ll wait ’til saturday to cook it, when we’ve moved into the condo.
• dh wanted to take me to his favorite arrosticini place last night (la rusticana) and to meet his work colleagues, but we had to change plans since i still have canker sores on my tongue and inside lip — stress-induced from the last couple of weeks of preparation. i should be back to normal soon.
• with the help of some L-Lysine, which i managed to find yesterday — yay! asked at two different herb places, but they didn’t know what i was talking about. finally asked at the farmacia — it’s called lisina here.
• we are having so much fun shopping and take 2 hours or so at the grocery just looking and browsing — dd17 and me anyway. the boys stay at the toy section or electronics section most of the time.
• italian men so far are not impressing dd-17 haha! the young guys are always in tight black jeans and black zippered leather jackets and black boots. a lot of the girls too. not too many flowing, girly, decent skirts around here, but dd spotted a beautiful patchwork dress last night at the store. skirt to ankles — but we’ll have to wait until we’re settled in to do some serious shopping.
• so we’ve figured out the meats: bovino = cow, suino = pig, coniglio = rabbit, vitello = veal, equino = horse. that last one we have yet to try. maybe we’ll wait until we have some visitors, just for kicks (no pun intended).
• they fuss and fawn over the kids! i didn’t notice this behavior 5 years ago when we were in rome, florence and assisi — i suppose those are too touristy. now that we tend to go where the natives/regulars are it’s more apparent. everyone just stops to look and stare esp. at the baby. yesterday at the grocery an elderly couple stopped me and asked to gently touch baby’s cheek, with their apologies — they are so sweet!

more later… dh has to get going to work, and i have to relinquish his laptop. if i can figure out how to connect mine, i’ll be back.

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Fiat Ulysse

Eurhotel

more info

This might sound ridiculous considering people keep telling us we’re so lucky we get to do this (travel as a family with hubby)… but I’m really looking forward to learning to do without. That looks like a nice van up there but it is WAY smaller than the American van we are used to — hubby calls it a microvan… I see it as an opportunity to learn how to get along and be patient with each other in a really confined space.

We will stay at the nice hotel for the first couple of months, come back for maybe a week here, then back again until the assignment ends… I will bring my knives (as per usual, the chef and paring anyway) but nothing else in the way of kitchen paraphernalia. So I’ll be missing my pots and pans and all the stuff I’ve come to depend on all these years.

Homeschooling will be very different — I’ve tried to stick to the one book per subject rule… so right now that’s looking like this:

• The Holy Bible
• The CCC
• The Liturgy of the Hours for the season (so this will be our saint book as well)
• no “reading” books per se — we’ll have to do that online, I don’t know yet how accessible English books are where we’re going to be, I mean the classics that we love and use in homeschooling
• one Math book per child
• Handbook of Nature Study
• a bunch of classical composer CDs loaded into my dd’s laptop’s iTunes software
• Artistic Pursuits

I actually have a bunch more books that I want to bring but I have yet to seek dh’s approval as he has limited our luggage to 2 large suitcases, 2 small ones, and backpacks. At confession today I told my priest that I’m having a hard time submitting to dh on this issue — 7 people / several months / 3 seasons / not enough space ??? … and he teased that I probably need 3 suitcases for all my clothes. I guess Father doesn’t know me well enough — I told him I was content with half a suitcase — it’s the BOOKS I can’t seem to part with!! Aiaiai…

But really… I’m looking forward to learning to do without. Living in the US has really spoiled us — everything is accessible, most things are affordable… it will be a lesson for the kids and myself to learn to get by with much, much less. I suppose it sounds almost hypocritical to write this out since we are — in essence — going on “vacation” for almost a year … but it will be a trial in patience and endurance as well… hopefully much purification will come out of it. Most of all I look forward to doing without regular Internet service, the company of friends whom we love and run to all the time, the many conveniences of a life here… not because I’m not going to miss those, but because we really need a big dose of reality (including me) and that’s not always easy to obtain in the good ol’ US of A. And the biggest plus is that we get to cocoon again — just have each other and not much else — last time this happened we really GREW.

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We have created a society where children are afraid or embarrassed to ask their parents tough questions. We can either accept that/assume that it is true of our child/teen as well, or we can take steps to correct/refute it.

How did this happen anyway? When children ask questions, they are not given straight answers, either because of parental fear or confusion. Or they are not given the attention or time that they need. Questions should be answered in a straightforward fashion and not deflected in an attempt to distract the child. Doing so creates an atmosphere of distrust and leads to even more confusion. The child is led to believe either a) that his/her question is unimportant, ergo the answer is also unimportant, or b) that the parent doesn’t know what the answers are, and thus, next time that a question arises, the child should just go consult someone else. If the child goes to a trusted adult who shares the parents’ views or can provide wholesome guidance, that’s something to be thankful for. But if the child knows of no such adult, or instead goes to a peer who is at the same stage of questioning and confusion, then problems can arise.

Parents should be children’s “first line of defense” against the attacks of modernity and secularism. Divini Illius Magistri points out that we are to be the primary educators of our children. The Sacrament of Marriage itself calls us to procreation — but it doesn’t stop there — it calls us to the education of our children as well: “by its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory” (Gaudium et Spes)”.

Teaching our children, especially about matters of the faith and the application thereof to our/their daily lives, should not be cause for fear or consternation. We should not face such opportunities with a feeling of inadequacy. Rather we should learn to face them head on, knowing that these moments are GIFTS, and receiving them with grace and eagerness to deal with the challenge is part of God’s mandate. We should not shirk our duty. Further, we should not assume that “someone else can do a better job”. Nothing is more effective towards touching a child’s heart than a parent’s honest and heartfelt admission that we have faced the same challenges they are facing. We can provide insights on how we have been able to cope with those challenges successfully. Admissions of mistakes and failings are also most welcome here — we do not have to be infallible in the eyes of our children. But they do have to see that we have come back from making those mistakes, and made another attempt to do what’s right. That’s what integrity is about, and these days, integrity is something that children are rarely taught. That we have learned to forgive ourselves, and ask forgiveness from our God… these are additional lessons that they have to internalize also (but we’ll talk about that at another time).

As parents we know our children best (or we should). We hold their hearts in our hands, and our families are the molds by which God shapes them here on earth. With our help they can become the vessels God wants them to be for His heavenly Kingdom.

If we are feeling inadequate, we should then endeavor to arm ourselves, so that we are ready for battle at a moment’s notice. Educating ourselves in God’s Word and the teachings of the Church is key. This is the only way we can outfit our “knights” for the spiritual struggles they are sure to face, if not today then someday soon. The teachings of the Church are such that they provide CLARITY in a morally relativistic world, where everything is permissible and it is no longer politically correct to call any action a “sin”. Lessons in black and white are much needed — they give our children the strength to stay out of the gray. When given early and charitably, our children have time to process and digest them before they are called to apply them. Expecting them to jump from information to application before they’ve had the chance to mull these things is unfair — but again, that’s fodder for another discussion at a later time.

Some practical tips for answering those tough questions:

1. Begin with a prayer to the Holy Spirit and Mother Mary to guide our minds and hearts and give us the right words.
2. If you know the topic beforehand, find a few Bible passages and CCC topics to help you out. If you have a parent resource such as a help forum like this, browse through some of the answers from wise parents who have been there before.
3. Keep foremost in mind that the goal is to assure the child of our love and our commitment to their well-being, both here on earth and beyond. Doing this will help us to LISTEN not only with our ears and our brains but also with our hearts.
4. Speak from the heart — our children are smart people…. they can figure out when wisdom is borne out of experience, or just pretend, a put-on to impress them.

To be honest I am much more nervous about answering questions like “why is the sky blue?” — because if I make a mistake there my children will forever mistrust my scientific knowledge. There is nothing more reassuring to a child than hearing their parent say “I don’t know, but together we can find out.” I tell my children all the time that I am just another learner, learning alongside them, and that God is not through with me. I even tell my oldest child that she’s our guinea pig and we’re feeling our way through things as well… which means they need to be patient with us too. That message is received more gratefully than scornfully. It helps

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Sunday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89
Latte .65
Caffe Splendid Aroma Ricco 2.69
Mele Golden 1.19

Sunday Lunch
Braciole di Maiale 4.49
Ananas .99
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85

Sunday Dinner
Fesa di Tacchino a Tranci 4.99
Pomodori Ciliegino .99
Corvo Bianco Sicilia 3.29
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85

Monday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89
Yogurt .65
Acqua San Benedetto Minerale 1.74

Monday Lunch
Orate Viversano Naz 7.99
Cuori di Carciofi Findus 2.95
Olio Farchioni 3.69
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85

Monday Dinner
Salame il Cru 1/2 kg. 6.95
Linea Osella 1.49
Aceto Balsamico di Modena Mazzetti 4.97
Arance Navel .69
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85

Tuesday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89
Fruttolo Yogurt1.95

Tuesday Lunch
Fiorucci Suillo 1.80
Broccoli Romani .99
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85

Tuesday Dinner
Nasello 7.99
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Mele Golden 1.19

Wednesday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89
Actimel 2.45

Wednesday Lunch
Pasta di Semola Formati Normali Voiello 1.50
Olive Snoccioloate Olivoli Sacla .69
Passata di Pomodoro Fresco Agride .85

Wednesday Dinner
Tonno In Olio di Oliva As Do Mar 3.19
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Ananas .99

Thursday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89
Succhi Bravo Rauch Gusti Assortiti 1.19

Thursday Lunch
Filleti di Alici in Olio di Oliva Rizzoli 4.79
Vongole Veraci 4.99
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Pomodori Ciliegino .99

Friday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89

Friday Lunch
Salame Felino il cru 1.35
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Cuori di Carciofi Findus 2.95

Friday Dinner
Filetti di Persico Africano 9.99
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Arance Navel .69

Saturday Breakfast
Pane Bianco Barilla .89.89

Saturday Lunch
Polio in Parti Confezione Risparmio 2.59
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Broccoli Romani .99

Saturday Dinner
Fettine Sceltissime di Bovino Adulto 8.99
Riso Parboiled Classico Flora 2.85
Mele Golden 1.19

Pampers 9.39
Scottex 3.69 (16)
Dishwashing detergent 3.29
Mentadent 1.55

Pescara
Via Italica, 117
Centro Comm.le Il Molino

www.supermercatigs.it

Total: 173.04

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Please pray for the repose of Michael Dubruiel’s soul. And for Amy Welborn and her and Michael’s five kids.

I feel like we just lost another warrior tonight.

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Today,

• Aisa made me a Moby wrap — out of material I bought to make some shirts for the boys years ago, and never did — and I’ve been using it… it’s so comfy!! Here’s how to use one, but I’m sooo happy ours cost virtually nothing (or feels like nothing anyway) and not ~$40 like the ones on Amazon. Of course, theirs are much sleeker-looking:

  

• Yena is still a bit slow with subtraction, so I had her spend some time at the Math-U-See drill page. Did the same thing with Migi when he was having trouble with multiplication, and now he’s much faster!
• Paco worked on his Personal Management badge requirements. He got to save some time since he did some research (power point presentation and all) on video gaming systems a while back, when he was trying to convince us to get a GameBoy or an XBox or whatever those things are called. We’re convinced (took him only more than a year ) and they’re getting the Wii sometime… but not just yet.
• Aisa helped me stir-fry some pork and broccoli in bean sauce. Still needs to work on her stir-frying technique. She hasn’t quite got the wrist technique down yet.
• Nino cooed several times today!! He did a bit of that on Friday too, but I wasn’t sure. Sigh…. so much blessing in just this one bundle alone.
• The 2009 calendar came, finally!! It’s large and fits perfectly on the kitchen wall. Hopefully, no more surprise appointments, etc.
• Still making progress on that basement!! Finished up 3 shelves today.
• Freecycle rocks!! Advertised 2 large boxes and 2 large bags today and it was gone by 5:30! I love painless donations.

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Makes me wish I could see this scene happening for real.

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ROTFL.

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When there’s a new baby in the house, life slows down. The pace is soft, soothing. Each second I spend like this falls, like a trickle… There is nothing but to feed him, change him, keep him comforted, hold him close. Though the outside world may be trying to break down the walls around this peacefulness that characterizes this time, it has no choice but to wait. I take pieces of forever. To smell his sweet head, to embrace this sleepy warmth, to fill my heart with these moments that are just… me and him. My beautiful baby.

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These will be Friday dinners:

Pizza in Pescara

This one sounds like fast food, but intriguing enough:

HelloPizza at the name.

More…

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Some history here.

where these:

become this:

in this recipe.

Yum yum.

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and the requisite pampers shot because daddy makes those;

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