... and these Thy gifts ... » humor

Fish

stef — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:12:36 +0000

15-year-old Paco, taking a biology quiz:

Mom, what are the three kinds of fish again? Cartilaginous, jawless…….

Mom: Uhm…. yummy, not so yummy, positively icky.

Aisa, 20, culinology student: Flat, round, and… and what’s the other one?

Mom: No, Ais, he needs the SCIENTIFIC terms.

Aisa: But that’s how we classify them, according to the way we butcher them!

Paco: No, no, no…. cartilaginous, jawless…..

Mom: Errrrrr…….. spineful?

Mom and Paco, googling: Oh, BONY!!!

Mom: See? I said spineful! Isn’t that the same thing?

The Digital Story of Nativity

stef — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 05:30:47 +0000

Cleverest Christmas video ever.

h/t Deacon Kandra and Margaret Cabaniss

Oy, The Things They Ask!

stef — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 11:43:00 +0000

Sunday, after Mass.

The 8-yo: “Mom, what’s an orgy?”

Mom, after brief prayer to the Holy Spirit: “It’s a party where people go really wild and do bad things.”

8-yo: “Mom, are we going to have a snack later?”

Sometimes I think the Holy Spirit responds, not by giving Mom awesome wise words to share with her children, but by confounding their young minds so they shift focus IMMEDIATELY. JUST. LIKE. THAT.

(Sunday’s Second Reading was Romans 13:11-14.)

CMR Does It Again: Truth in Advertising

stef — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 11:34:28 +0000

Planned Parenthood Signs

Laughing over morning ~~coffee~~ hot chocolate … funny, but OH-SO-SADLY-TRUE.

Kid Funnies

stef — Mon, 24 May 2010 15:06:39 +0000

It’s a tradition in the family that when there’s a sick child, they get to eat whatever they want to eat, even if it’s something we don’t usually purchase/make (with the exception of really unhealthy stuff like candy and Spam). So this weekend when Yena was sick I asked her what she wanted Dad and Mig to buy on their home from the cycling trip. She wanted

“That soup, Mom.”
“What soup?”
“You know, the ‘cream of’?”
“Cream of what?”
“Uhm…. cream of tartar?”

Cleaning the basement today. Looks like the only way to get things accomplished around this house with a toddler in tow is to BE WHERE HE IS and clean that area. So while Nino was checking out the boxes of old unsorted toys, I took to getting rid of the old Franklin planner pages we had used through the years…. I’m still not that detached that I just junked them all… I’m actually going through each page to see if there’s “something important”… I did find two pages where I took notes of Aisa’s names for everything (when she was 6 — maybe I’ll post it sometime).

Nino, in the meantime, found a teeny-tiny rocking chair from the Playmobil line, gently put it on the floor right side up, and proceeded to try sitting on it. Thankfully he didn’t squash it. LOL, he has no concept of how big he is compared to the toy.

Too Many Brownies, QoTD, Faith Talking, the Menu, Devotion #2

stef — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 07:36:06 +0000

It’s 2:09 am and yes, I’m still awake. Made allergy-free brownies for Aisa’s party with her college friends (+the Walshes) and I forgot that I made it with regular coffee, STRONG-BREWED even… and now everyone’s asleep and I’m still awake. I’m going to be dead in the morning, just when little one will be running around wreaking havoc everywhere. But yum. Haven’t made those in a while and forgot how good they were!

Yena’s Question of the Day:

“Mom, when I’m older, will I go through “the phase” too?”

What phase?

“You know, the one that Paco’s in right now and that Ate Aisa went through….?”

Oh, *that* phase.

I love eight-year-olds!!

So Michael and Amy Walsh and Josh, Aisa’s friend, were talking and talking and talking tonight. Bibles (Douay, 2 NABs, Navarre AND Google — we couldn’t find our RSV-CE) on the table. I interjected a comment or two here and there. Aisa too, of course. But wow, *love* these conversations. I wonder if that’s the kind of exhilaration Augustine and his friends felt all those centuries ago…. talking about the faith, asking each other questions, challenging each other’s beliefs, reasonings, etc., mulling, turning things over, digging, scrutinizing. I *love* being around people with this kind of passion for Christ and for understanding His teachings. It probably could have gone on forever were it not for the kids who were sleepy and the homework (and real work, as in JOB) that the college studes had hanging over their heads…. but yeah, we have to do that again.

Elvin and Candice, if you happen to see this, we missed you. You would have loved it.

Oh and yeah. The menu. We made/served

spaghetti puttanesca
crisp spiced nuts
mild cheddar
smoked whitefish salad with water crackers (I promised Paco we were going to get this and we did, finally!)
warm lentil salad
olive oil citrus cake with grapefruit glaze (Yena made this), and strawberries
iced chai green tea
allergen-free brownies

Michael and Amy brought salmon fish head curry and quinoa
PJ brought some potato casserole with chex mix something that was all kinds of delicious
Alyssa (?) brought a marbled yellow/chocolate cake with chocolate glaze
Josh brought a mesclun salad topped with blue cheese, pine nuts and cranberries
Aaron brought palmiers and pastry cream
and Joe brought quinoa and his guitar
Navid brought chicken that looked very tempting (it’s Friday!)

So it was actually a feast, on a Lenten Friday, no less…. but there were reasons the party had to be held today….

while they use the world and the things of this life, they use all such purely and honestly, and no further than is needful for their condition—such are the truly devout.

To the devout, EVERY SINGLE THING can and will be and is used solely as a tool to draw oneself closer to the Almighty.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same.

stef — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:20:44 +0000

ROTFL.

The Attack of the Colds. (And the Sleepies.)

stef — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:19:29 +0000

Well, it’s official. The Summer Cold has invaded our family. Three of us are down. Tonight we allowed our 12-year-old to skip the family Rosary so he can sleep early — we were praying quite late because Dad and I got home around 9:30 from our dinner date (celebrating 18 years and 7 months of wedded bliss, yeah, baby!!). Well, the 6-yo who got it first pleaded that she couldn’t lead her decade because she’s got a severe case of the sniffles. Her Hail Mary’s sounded like this:

[sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif] Hail Mary, full of grace [sniffffffffffffffff], the Lord is with thee.

9-yo volunteered to take over and we were grateful… problem is, he’s got the sleepies, and his Hail Mary’s sounded like this:

Hail Ma[yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwnnn]ry, full of grace, the Loooo[yawwwwwwwwnnnnnn]rd is with thee….

it was one slow Rosary, I tell you. I wonder if the Saints who were hovering near were stifling yawns as well. Wait, there isn’t sleepiness in Heaven, is there?

Comedy of Errors, or a Very Special Kind of Corned Beef

stef — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:26:55 +0000

Mama asks what we want for lunch. (Mama is visiting from St. Louis and helping out in the cooking department because I still can’t cook much.) She asks Tops (my brother who’s also visiting from Philly for the weekend). Tops wants corned beef.

We look for the tomato. Mama is convinced we had one more. Turns out Aisa chopped both tomatoes that Daddy bought, so we had already used them up. I said no worries. I have tomatoes somewhere, I know. But I can’t find the canned tomatoes that I transferred to the Prego jar…. hey wait, what about the freezer? Jar not here, but oh, here you go, Mama, here’s some red stuff.

Mama proceeds with the cooking. I’m in the next room, the study, trying to find our long lost lessons in two months’ worth of MESS.

Mama: Ikaw ba ang nag-puree nito? (Did you puree this yourself?)
Me: Hindi ko na maalala. (I can’t remember.)
Mama: Iba. (It’s different.)
Me: thinking… what would be different about it? Siguro nga po. (Maybe.)

5 minutes later.

Mama: May kulay. (There’s color.)
Me: thinking… why would there be color? I only buy natural stuff. Po? (Polite way of saying “really???”)

5 minutes later.

Mama: May, sigurado kang kamatis ito? (Are you sure these are tomatoes?)
Me: Bakit po? (Why?, politely)
Mama: Matamis! (It’s sweet!)

Me, finally going into the kitchen: Po??? (What?)

Finally seeing the way-different redness of the “frozen tomatoes” — Oh no!!!

It’s raspberry!! More accurately, raspberry sauce, for chocolate cake!

Me: Inilagay n’yo na po? (Have you used it yet?)
Mama: Kanina pa! (A while back!)
Me, looking at the purply corned beef in the skillet. thinking YUCCCCHHHHH….. : Baka po puedeng i-drain tapos lagyan na lang ng patis. (Maybe we could just drain it and add fish sauce.)
Mama: Nilagyan ko na ng asin. (I already put salt.) ‘Wag na lang nating sabihin. (Let’s just not tell them.)

Too late. Paco heard us talking and announced to everyone before lunch: Raspberry corned beef!!!

Needless to say, we were all laughing and joking all throughout lunch. Numerous references to the Friends episode where Rachel puts beef and peas in the trifle (warning: some material not suitable for kids). Mama says something about not trusting first-trimester pregnant women in the kitchen.

Good thing I have my own personal Joey (Dad).

What’s not to like? Potatoes? Good. Raspberry? Good. Corned beef? Goooooood!!!

Okay, he didn’t really say that, but he and Tops ate a lot. I love men with strong stomachs. Tops predicts we’ll be talking about this 5 years from now.

Yena is Funny

stef — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:21:15 +0000

In bed this morning, still sleepy.

Yena: Mom, how long can nuns speak?
Mom: Depends on the order. Some nuns don’t speak a lot because they’ve taken a vow of silence, some can speak as long as they want.
Yena: Nuns can’t speak, but they can breathe, right Mom?
Mom: Yes.
Yena: I want to be a nun that can speak as long as I want.
Mom: Okay.

The other day, coming in breathlessly from playing outside with the newly arrived organic soil, pausing long enough to put her shoes on.

Yena: Mom, we’re going to put it in the wheelbarrel!
Mom: I think you mean “wheelbarrow”.
Yena: Yes, wheelbarrel!!
Mom: No, Yen, it’s wheel, barrow.
Yena: Oh. (trying again) wheelbarrel! (then laughing)
Mom: Try it: wheel…. barrow…
Yena: Reelbarrow!!
Mom: I give up.

At 3 am 2 nights ago… in the family bed…

Yena stretches, grunts, moans softly, like she’s dreaming…. then whines… and then, from the depths of her dreamy state: “…..bored…!!!”
Her dad and me? Laughing Out Loud. Only Yena can dream about being bored.