confession: i don’t like blogging

the more i blog, the more i realize, this is not the life i want to live. i don’t want to spend my day in front of the computer. i don’t want my posts scrutinized by people i don’t know. i don’t want to have to defend my words or my beliefs to people i really could care less about, whether they agreed or disagreed with me. i hate the link me up-link you up, i comment-you comment type of relationship found on the ‘net. i love the friends i’ve made so far, but one or two is enough for me. i don’t want to have to deal with people who i won’t even talk to had i met them on the street or at a party. i don’t want to feel enslaved by a calendar that reminds me i haven’t posted. i don’t want to feel controlled by site stats and search engine results that tell me what readers are looking for. i love helping people, but i don’t think this is the best way.

i miss my kids. i miss homeschooling. i miss being an integral part of their day-to-day life. i’m turning the computer off, though not for good. and i know i’ll still be blogging, partly to organize my life, but the person-to-person stuff is just a bit much. i’ll keep on blogging because i was looking for this type of thing to “journalize” all the little bits and pieces that get dropped into the abyss in my busy busy busy mom’s life, but i really need to focus on the goals i set for myself and my family before i started with this whole blogging thing. the blogging is just ONE means to an end, and it’s not the perfect one. so i’m hanging up my hat, for now. whew! that feels better already.